Death is irrevocable, it will arrive with surety one day. Everyone knows this, but still feel sad when someone dies. Especially when a family member dies, sadness is only a part of complete brokenness. The shock is unexplainable to see a loved one lying on the ground, dead.
In the moment, acceptance of the departure of your loved one fleets you. The heart rejects understanding, logic, and sensibility. A strange pain takes the place of what would be normalcy, creating an unfillable void in your life and heart forever.
The depth of this void depends is proportional to the attachment with the loved one. The greater the love and closeness in the relationship, deeper is the injury to the heart and the wound that transforms into the void.
Some in the family weep incessantly, urging a magical awakening of the departed soul. While some others get a somber look, with a silent and shocked gaze at the lifeless body.
There is a universal drought in understanding of the events. The same person who moments ago was breathing, talking and smiling, lies lifeless in front of them. It takes time to accept death. Time to accept that a beloved part of your life is gone for good.
After several hours, there is enlightenment on what needs to happen. Last rites need to be concluded, a funeral has to be performed. With additional passage of time, the same broken people dare to arrange for the last rites and a cremation.
While performing last rites, several stages of grief hit us. Denial of death, guilt for its cause, anger for its futility and finally acceptance for the soul’s immortality.
For days on end, the void eats at you. A confusion keeps haunting you. You make yourself busy to fill it, not realizing that the pain is gradually fading away. Although the void is unfillable and unending in your life, you keep yourself engaged in what is called life, to escape the void of your loved one’s death.
(Miss you, Papa)